Breathe Again
by kity623
Summary: Logan had really bad asthma when he was little, but he and his friends thought it went away. They thought wrong. It comes back, and Logan thinks he's holding back the band so he runs away. NO SLASH Better than it sounds
1. Chapter 1

****

Nickle: Okay, so this is my first story so cut me some slack. My cousin Jen is making me write it, so yeah-

**Jen: BTR ROCKS! I 3 LOGAN!**

**Nickle:...okay. Anywho, I don't own BTR. If I did then I would most definately not be on writing about it, and it wouldn't be allowed on Nickelodeon, lol.**

**

* * *

**

-Prologue-

"Don't let go-don't let go-don't let go!" Four year old Logan Mitchell panicked, clinging to his father.

"I won't let you fall, but if you want to learn to skate you have to trust me." Mr. Mitchell responded, chuckling.

Logan shakily let go of his leg and stepped onto the ice. He began to fall backwards, but his father quickly caught him and smiled. The dark haired boy smiled back before brushing his dad's hands off of his shoulders and pushing away from him.

"Logan! You're doing great!" He cheered as his son took slow strides toward the middle. Across the rink another boy his age with long brown hair fell and started crying.

Logan darted across the pond towards the sobbing child and realized too late that he didn't know how to stop. He turned sharply as to not hit the other kid and landed in a snow bank.

"Mommy!" The brown haired kid wailed, and Logan quickly unburied himself and made his way to him.

"What hurts? Are you okay?" He asked, eyebrows knitted in concern.

"My-my leg I fell on it!" James Diamond's cries slowed though, until he was simply sniffling. "My name is James."

"My name is-"

"JAMES! James are you alright!" Mrs. Diamond fussed, running clumsily across the ice.

James looked down at his leg and smiled. "I'm okay now, Mommy."

"Logan, are _you _okay? You need to learn how to stop." His dad laughed, brushing some of the snow out of his spikey dark hair.

Logan nodded and turned to James. "I'm Logan. I'm four."

"I'm four, too! Want to be friends?" He asked, smiling.

"Yeah!"

They skated away, holding hands so that they wouldn't fall, and the adults watched, smiling.

Kendall Knight was skating around the pond, when he saw his neighbor, Logan. He skated over to the two and smiled.

"Hi, Logan." He greeted.

"Hi, Kendall. This is James." Logan said, gesturing to the brown haired boy.

He smiled brightly and shook hands with Kendall the way he'd seen his dad. "Hi, Kendall. Logan and I are going to be best friends, want to be best friends with us?"

"Yeah! Can we be friends with Carlos, too?" He asked, glancing towards the Latino boy skating carelessly at the other side of the pond.

"Sure!"

* * *

They skated for almost an hour when Logan coughed. He had had asthma since birth; bad asthma. It had already nearly taken his life twice, and he wasn't even in Kindergarten yet.

"Logie?" Kendall asked, because Logan didn't look like he felt very good. They had already made nicknames for eachother, Carlitos, Kendie, Jamie, and Logie.

Logan was breathing hard, and his chest felt tight, but he smiled anyway and said, "I'm fine. I have to go, bye you guys."

They waved by and watched him skate over to his dad. Thinking nothing of it, they began a game of tag and raced around the pond laughing.

Mr. Mitchell was talking to Mrs. Diamond, and had his back turned to Logan when he skated up.

He tugged on the back of his jacket and he turned around. "Logan, I'm..." He trailed off when he saw his son's pale face and heard his ragged breathing.

"I'm sorry, I have to go, Logan has really bad asthma. I need to get him home, it was nice talking to you." He said quickly, picking up Logan and running to the car.

Logan fell into a coughing fit and Mr. Mitchell dug in his pockets for his son's inhaler. He found it and quickly gave it to Logan who held it to his mouth and pushed down on the canister.

Mr. Mitchell started up the car and quickly drove home, while keeping an eye on Logan who still seemed to be having a hard time breathing.

"Logan, use it one more time, okay?"

He nodded and obeyed wordlessly. Once they were home he carried his exhausted son inside and set him on the couch. He was asleep within minutes and he sighed. _We have to do something about this..._

* * *

Logan, now five years old, stared at his mother with pleading eyes. The inhaler in his pocket suddenly seemed to get heavier, weighing him down.

"Honey...I don't think you ca-I know you _can _but I don't think you should...I mean...your asthma-"

"Lots of people play hockey with asthma." Logan interruptied. He hated it, he wasn't allowed to play outside in the winter with Kendall, James, and Carlos, he wasn't allowed to ice skate with them, he wasn't allowed to run long distances, swim, have any pets...the list seemed to go on forever.

Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell hated to keep their son in such a restricted life-style, but it was that or have the possibility of losing him forever.

"Logie, those people don't have it as bad as you do." She retorted, running a hand through her thick black hair.

"You don't know that." He pouted.

She sighed and picked up the phone. As she dialed, Logan stared at her in confusion, but there was a spark of hope in his eyes.

"Doctor Roberts' office, Jenna speaking, how can I help you?" A voice asked in an overly peppy tone.

"Hello, is Doctor Roberts in?" She asked.

"May I ask who is calling?"

"Mrs. Mitchell."

"Thank you, please hold."

After a few minutes Doctor Roberts picked up. "Mrs. Mitchell, is everything alright?"

"Yes, but Logan really wants to play hockey, and his life is so..._confined. _His three best friends are joining the team, and he is a really good skater, so I was wondering, is there anyway to let him join?" She absentmindedly began to pace and Logan followed her, staring at the phone as if he could make the person on the other line say 'Yes.'

"I've been thinking about that, actually. If we put him on a higher medication, then maybe-"

"What do you mean?" She interrupted.

"He would have a higher prescription prevention inhaler that he would have to take every morning, every night, and before going into the rink. And he'd have to have his rescue inhaler with him-at the rink-at all times. You'd also have to make sure he knows how to detect the symptoms, and that he is responsible enough to stop playing and take his rescue inhaler if it gets bad." The Doctor explained.

"Oh, okay." She replied, nodding, and Logan smiled brightly.

"Come in tomorrow and we'll make sure he's okay to do this-but don't worry, I can assure you that he will be."

* * *

**Nickle: Okay, just to clarify-because Jen's making me-Logan went to the doctor and got his higher medications and joined the hockey team with his friends. **

**Jen: I'm only making her 'clarify' because some stories aren't based off of the show, and maybe he hadn't been able to join the hockey game. Anyway, Nick is the one writing this for me, so thank you thank you thank you Nikki!**

**Nickle: It's Nickle. Not Nikki. Just saying. Please review :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Nickle: Hiya again, just wanted to say, check out Miss Fenway and Fish Stick Friday's stories, they are epic!**

**Jen: And Nickle doesn't own Big Time Rush or any of the characters except Doctor Roberts.**

**Nickle: Seriously, if you're into angst, check out Miss Fenway and if you like funny/romantic/angst stories, check out Fish Stick Friday-**

**Jen: They get it, just type already!**

**Nickle: Pushy.**

**

* * *

**

Over the years Logan's asthma had died down, but when they moved to LA there had been some concern about that. Well, Mrs. Knight was concerned, Logan's dad had seemed to only be half-there ever since Mrs. Mitchell had been hit by a car and killed. But the climate was actually better for Logan's asthma, so his friends had gradually forgotten about Logan's asthma. He had finally seemed healthy.

Doctor Roberts had been monitoring Logan, and seeing his improvement, he called him.

The four were sitting in the main room, playing video games, when his cell phone rang.

"Hello?" He answered, giving his controller to Carlos and walking out of the loud room.

"Is this Logan Mitchell?" The voice on the other end asked.

Logan began to pace around his room, just like his mother had. "Yes," he replied hesitantly, thinking it was a salesman or something.

"Hi, this is Doctor Roberts, from Minnesota."

"Oh! Is everything alright?" He asked, suddenly worried for his dad's health.

"Yes, yes, everything is fine. I just wanted to check up on how your asthma is doing. Does it still bother you?" Doctor Roberts asked, already knowing the answer.

"It's been a lot better since we moved, surprisingly enough. Why?" From the other room he yelled James scream, and Carlos yell "Rematch!" While Kendall cheered.

"I was wondering if you would like to try taking a lower medication. One that won't affect you in a negative way."

A smile lit up Logan's face. "That'd be great!"

"I already talked to your dad, and he and I are flying to LA three days, I'll give you the address of where to meet us."

"Thank you."

* * *

"Logan, what took you so long? I'm getting slaughtered out here!" Carlos exclaimed, involuntarily leaning to the left as his video game character dodged a lazer.

"Sorry!" Logan apologized, grabbing his controller and logging back in.

"So what was the call about? Was it _Camille?" _Kendall teased. James and Carlos "Ooh"d and Logan rolled his eyes.

He tensed up and rapidly pressed the A button. "Oh, nothing, my dad just wanted to know how I'm doing." He lied, keeping his eyes on the screen.

Kendall scoffed. "Your dad? No offense, Log_ain, _but since when does he care?"

"He doesn't, _Kendallia._" he quickly searched his head for a story, and smiled when he though of one, "He actually wanted to talk about whether or not I should go to college."

"But you can't leave Big Time Rush!" James gasped.

"I know, we're only going to talk about it."

On the day they were going to meet Logan explained what was going on to Gustavo and Kelly gave them the day off.

"There's something weird about what Logan said." Kendall murmured.

"Well, he left the directions on the counter, let's follow him." Carlos said, motioning to the paper.

"I'm in." James said, grabbing his jacket.

"Same here." Kendall echoed.

"Logan, hi!" Doctor Roberts said when he walked into the room.

"Hello, Logan." His dad greeted rather stiffly.

Logan smiled in response, and Doctor Roberts began talking. "So, I was thinking you should start taking a weaker prevention inhaler, as I explained on the phone, but keep the old one and the prescription in case it doesn't work. But it should, don't worry. An the rescue inhaler will be just as strong, we don't want to risk anything."

Kendall, James, and Carlos crouched beneath the window.

"...as strong...don't want to risk..." A voice from inside the room said.

"Thank you, doctor..." Mr. Mitchell said.

"Doctor?" James hissed.

"No problem, but Logan, you'll have to...cautious for awhile...call me if it gets worse."

"I will." Logan assured him.

"What did they say about Logan not being as strong?" James asked with a worried expression.

"Wait a minute..." Carlos whispered dramatically. "getting weaker, being cautious, if something gets worse, doctor...Logie has a life threatening disease!"

"It makes sense now!" James gasped. "What if he has to get a-a shot?" He swayed and Kendall steadied him with a hand on his shoulder.

Rolling his eyes, he muttered, "Guys, stop over-reacting. He wouldn't keep a '_life threatening disease' _from us."

"Yes he would! He hates people making a big deal over him!" Carlos whisper-shouted.

"He's dying!" James squeaked, swaying again.

"Knock it off!" Kendall said loudly, annoyed at his dramatic friends. When he heard footsteps coming toward the window his eyes widened and he covered his mouth. "Oops."

The three looked up with guilty expressions as Logan leaned out the window.

"Logan, be careful!" Carlos yelped, jumping to his feet and grabbing Logan's arm to support him.

"Did you guys hear all of that?" He asked, ignoring Carlos.

"Yes, are you okay!" James stood and grabbed Logan's other arm.

A puzzled look came onto Logan's face and he hesitantly nodded.

"When are you going to start getting weaker?"

"What disease do you have?"

"How long do you have to live?"

"What's going to happen to the ba-"

"Guys! What the heck are you talking about!" Logan interrupted raising one eyebrow.

With a sigh, Kendall explained. "They overheard you guys talking about doctors, and getting weaker, so they _jumped to conclusions._" He sent a glare their way on the last three words and they smiled innocently.

"No, guys, that isn't it at all!" He laughed.

"Thank god." James murmured under is breath.

"Then what were you guys talking about? We know it wasn't about college." Carlos looked at him skeptically and crossed his arms.

"Doctor Roberts noticed that my asthma hasn't acted up in a while, so he wants to put me on a weaker medication." He replied. "I didn't tell you because I figured you'd get all over-protective like you did when they raised my medication. There's nothing to worry about, and you guys already have enough stress."

"Logie, that's our job."

"Carlitos is right, we're all here for eachother." Kendall stated.

"Guys, don't get all girly on us, please." James snickered.

"Look who's talking!" The other three exclaimed.

* * *

**Nickle: Okay, I hope you guys like it so far, please review ;) I was going to update tomorrow, but I got access to a computer so I got it done early. I'll update tomorrow, though, too. But now my mom is yelling at me to get off the computer and babysit my little brother**

**Jen: Her mom isn't very nice. Bye :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Nickle: I also want to thank mebemelover for helping me with this story**

**Jen: Okay, type, I wanna know what happens!**

**Nickle: *rolls eyes* I don't own anything, and please ignore Jen who won't let me erase what she's typing.**

**

* * *

**

Logan put the new medication in his pocket and walked home with the his friends.

"So is your asthma going to get worse when you use this?" Carlos asked, still not quite understanding.

Logan shrugged. "It might, but hopefully, it'll just stay the same."

"But it was finally getting better, why risk it?" James asked, memories of Logan's last asthma attack flashing through his head.

"Because it isn't healthy to take such high medication every morning and every night. Eventually it might affect my health." He explained, rubbing the back of his neck.

"How?" Carlos asked, wide-eyed.

"It probably won't," he assured his friend, "we're just taking precautions by lowering it."

Kendall opened the door to 2J and the four walked in, silent for once. The three were still a little mad at Logan for keeping it from him, but mostly worried that it would get bad again.

Logan was lost in his own thoughts, wondering whether or not it was a good idea. It seemed like it, he wouldn't have to get up so early so that there'd be time for the dizzying effects to wear off before they left, but if it got bad again then that wouldn't be worth it.

"Are you boys alright?" Mrs. Knight asked, walking in.

"Yeah, we're fine...Logan, it'd make us all feel better if you told my mom." Kendall suggested.

"She used to be a nurse, so why not? Please, Logie?" Carlos pleaded.

All eyes were on Logan and he felt his face begin to flush.

"Tell me what? Are you okay, Logan?" She asked, confused.

"Yeah, it's really no big deal. My doctor noticed that my asthma hasn't been acting up as much as it used to, so he lowered my medication. He explained. "It might make my asthma worse and I might have to switch back, but if it doesn't then...well, this medicine is a lot better for me, so..." He trailed off with a shrug.

"When are you starting your new medicine?"

"Tonight, because I have to take my prevention inhaler every night." He said, wishing she would finish the conversation.

"Wait, he-he didn't lower your rescue inhaler, did he?" Her eyes widened, and like James earlier, images of his last attack flashed through her mind.

"No, that'd be too much of a risk."

Mrs. Knight nodded and started to walk into the kitchen, but turned around to say one last thing. When she opened her mouth to talk she saw the boys were already in an intense conversation about a hockey game. Logan was in between Kendall and James, and Kendall had one arm slung casually but protectively over the smaller boy's shoulders. Carlos was laying on his stomach, and leaning on his elbows on James' lap. She smiled at how they naturally kept close together, and then headed into the kitchen to make dinner.

* * *

That night as Logan was getting ready for bed, he stared at the new prevention inhaler in his hand.

He was scared.

When he was younger his asthma had made him absolutely miserable, and he was terrified of that happening again. He would be put back into that closed off world, and it'd be such a burden on his friends...

_Doctor Roberts said it'd be fine, you have to trust him, _he reminded himself.

With a sigh he took the inhaler and puffed the medication into his mouth. He'd gotten used to the bitter taste long ago, but not the way it made his head feel. He braced himself for the disorienting feeling, but it never came. He smiled, this was way better than the old one.

_What if it doesn't work? _Thoughts about it not working or something happening spun around his head and he leaned against the counter trying to clear his head.

"Logan?" James asked, knocking on the door.

"Come in." He replied, putting the inhaler back in its place in the cabinet.

"Are you okay?" He asked, noting his friend's face was paler than usual.

"Yeah, I'm fine...can I talk to you about something?" He walked out of the bathroom switching the light off and James followed him into the hallway.

"Anything." He replied, concern in his eyes.

Logan opened his mouth to explain how he felt, but chickened out and asked instead, "Where should I take Camille on our date, Saturday?"

"Somewhere where you guys can hang out and talk." He said, too oblivious to see through Logan's act.

"Thanks, James." Logan sighed. "Goodnight."

"Night."

* * *

Logan fidgeted and looked at the clock again. It was already three AM and he hadn't had any sleep. All he could think of was that if it didn't work and got worse everyone would think badly of him.

"Logie, I know you're still awake." Kendall stated.

"I'm sorry...can I ask you something?" He asked, sitting up.

"You just did." He replied with a smirk.

"_Kendall, _you know what I mean."

"I know, I'm sorry. What did you want to ask me?"

Logan sighed and walked to Kendall's bed. He sat down next to his protective friend and pulled his legs up to his chest.

"What if it doesn't work?" He murmured almost too quiet for Kendall to hear.

Kendall did a double take. Had he heard him right? Logan, his friend who was so sure of everything, especially medical stuff had just asked if... Kendall hadn't been worried about that before, because Logan had said it would work. Sure, Mrs. Knight had asked him to keep an eye on Logan, but she always worried.

"What do you mean?" He asked hoarsely, tensing up.

"I mean...what if my asthma gets really bad, like before? Then it would stress everyone out, and everyone would think of me badly and-"

"Logan, don't be so pessimistic. If it works, then you won't be so shaky and stuff in the morning, and you'd probably be able to sleep better at night," He cringed, thinking of 5th grade, when Logan's dad had to go to work early so Logan had almost no time in the morning, and he'd come to school pale and trembling.

"I hope you're right." Logan sighed.

"But if I'm wrong, all you have to do is switch back, right?"

"Yes, but I won't be used to the stronger medication anymore and it's effect on me will be worse than before."

"Logan, don't worry, all you can do is hope for the best. Anyway, what are the chances of it not working?"

"Well, Doctor Roberts said it would, but-"

"_But _you should listen to him...her...um..."

"Him." Logan laughed.

"We should get some sleep. Night Logie."

"Good night Kendall."

Logan stood to walk to his bed, but Kendall grabbed his wrist.

"What are you-"

"Will you sleep in my bed tonight? Just in case?" Kendall pleaded him with his eyes. He had always been protective of his friends, and now with the thought that Logan's asthma could act up again, he wanted him as close as possible.

"Just in case what?" Logan asked, his tired mind not putting the pieces together.

"In case your asthma acts up. Then I'll be able to help you."

"Thank you Kendall."

* * *

**Nickle: I'm sorry I've had so many typos, but my keyboard is broken and I was using the on-screen keyboard, but I got annoyed with it. I hope you liked it, please review :) btw, Jen isn't going to comment because she's downstairs watching BTR. The Christmas one was pretty cool, I liked the yard squirrels thing, lol**


	4. Chapter 4

**Nickle: I've updated so quickly because I already have the first four chapters written, I just have to type them, and I want to get as much updated as possible because I don't know when the next time I'll have access to a computer will be.**

**Jen: Can't you just use your phone?**

**Nickle: My cell phone doesn't get internet**

**Jen: What about your house phone?**

**Nickle: ...I'm ignoring her now. I don't own anything except Doctor Roberts**

**

* * *

**

Logan woke up around five and wiggled out of Kendall's hold.

"Logie?" He mumbled with one eye half open.

"Go back to sleep, you still have a half hour." Logan murmured, walking into the bathroom. He took his prevention inhaler out of the cabinet and used it. He tensed up, waiting for the effect, and then remembered it didn't do that anymore. With a smile he finished getting dressed and walked into the main room.

By then the other three were up, and James and Mrs. Knight were the only ones actually awake. Logan tried and failed to refrain from laughing as Carlos and Kendall, both half dead with sleep, stumbled into eachother. Three times.

"Goodmorning, Logan." Mrs. Knight greeted.

"It is." He replied smiling.

"It's nice to talk to someone that's actually coherent." She laughed, glancing at Kendall and Carlos. "What would you like for breakfast?"

At the mention of food Carlos was instantly awake and he ran over to them. "Can we have chocolate chip pancakes shaped like dinosaurs! Please!" He got on his knees and beamed at her and she nodded, laughing.

The four ate breakfast and then walked to Rocque Records. Before they left Mrs. Knight had made Logan make sure that his rescue inhaler was in his duffel bag and that it wasn't empty, causing him to blush.

"Aw, does little Logie not like attention?" James gushed, pinching his cheek as they waited to cross the street.

"Oh shut up, Jamez." He crossed his arm, trying to will himself to stop blushing.

Once they got to the studio, Gustavo began yelling, as usual.

"Dogs, we're starting with two hours of harmonies, and then we'll work on choreography to some of your new songs." He barked.

Kendall kept an eye on Logan, but by the end of the harmonies he was sure he'd be fine.

* * *

"You guys need to Xstep it Xup." Mr. X ordered, making an X with his arms.

They nodded, panting, and began again. Though the others were fine by the chorus, Logan noticed it was harder than usual to catch his breath.

Seeing that the four boys looked tired, Mr. X sighed and gave them a five minute break.

"You doing okay?" Kendall asked, looking at Logan who was leaning against the wall, pale and tensed up.

"Yeah." He said through clenched teeth. "I'm fine." It was a complete lie. His chest felt tight and he was trying not to cough.

"Are you sure?"

_Please stop talking to me. _"Yes, I'm fine, really."

"Okay, break is Xover." Mr. X announced. He started the song from the top and Logan cringed. His chest was getting tighter and it was getting harder to breathe.

Halfway through the first verse Logan fell into a coughing fit and dropped to his knees.

"Logan!" James exclaimed, kneeling next to him. Kendall sprinted to Logan's duffel and dumped it out.

"Logan, calm down, buddy." Carlos murmured, cringing as Logan let out a strangled gasp.

James rubbed his back as he went into a coughing fit that left him breathless. He was getting light headed, and he silently prayed for Kendall to hurry.

As if on cue, Kendall appeared in the doorway with Logan's inhaler. He handed it to him, and Logan took it gratefully. He breathed in the medicine and held his breath as he let it clear his lungs.

After taking another puff of the medicine Logan took a deep breath and was grateful to be able to do so.

"Are you okay?" James asked worriedly.

Logan nodded and Kendall helped him to his feet. He swayed, but Kendall caught him. "Jeez, Logan, take it easy."

"Sorry." He muttered. Carlos frowned at how shaky he looked.

"You guys should head Xhome. I'll go get Gustavo." Mr. X said, looking uncomfortable.

"So, it didn't work..." Carlos stated. Logan looked up at his expression and had to look away because he looked so disappointed.

_And I'm the one making him look like that..._

"There was a fifty-fifty chance, but he can just switch back and everything will go back to normal." Kendall's gaze switched to Logan, "It will get better and go back to normal, right?"

_I don't know, probably not. _"Yeah, it should." He spoke so quietly the others had to strain to hear him.

"Dogs, what did you mess up now!" Gustavo bellowed, stomping into the room.

Kelly, who had actually listened to Mr. X, ran past him and to Logan. "Are you okay? You don't need to go to the hospital, do you?"

"No, I'm okay now." He answered, even though the tightness in his chest hadn't gone away.

* * *

Gustavo hadn't stopped his rampage enough to hear what Kelly had said, so the four simply ignored him as they filed into the limo.

Logan was in a haze throughout the rest of the day, and by seven he was asleep.

"Mom...do you think Logan's going to be okay? If he switches back?" Kendall asked, as she came into the room.

The three stared at her with hopeful eyes, and she sighed. "I don't know, it might get worse for awhile."

"I knew this was a bad idea!" James crossed his arms and looked away. "But I didn't say anything, and now Logan's asthma is coming back."

"James, it isn't your fault, it's no one's fault. There's no way of knowing whether or not something like this is going to work." Mrs. Knight said soothingly. "And in no time he'll be okay again."

"I hope you're right."

Logan curled up in a ball, trying to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling. _I have a feeling that this is just the beggining._

_

* * *

_

**Nickle: OMG thank you so much for the reviews! **

**Jen: I swear to goodness, if you kill Logan I'll-**

**Nickle: I won't kill him, I promise. I won't be nice to him, but I won't kill him. (I suffer from FCMD ((Favorite character mutilation disorder)) so sorry Logan Fans)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Nickle: Sorry I haven't updated in awhile, but I finally got my keyboard fixed :D! So now I'll probably be updating a lot...unless I break it again.**

**Jen: Dude, you're killing me here, don't break it, and do start updating! And just start typing the story already!**

**Nickle: Yes master *bows* Anywho, I don't own BTR or any of the characters**

_**

* * *

**_

Mrs. Knight opened her son's room door and poked her head inside. Kendall and Logan were sleeping peacefully and she smiled.

_Logan's getting some well-deserved rest, I'll just call Gustavo and ask if they can have the day off. They need it._

She walked back into the main room to see Katie already awake and watching T.V.

"It's only 5:30, sweetie, what are you doing up?" She asked, picking up the phone.

"I wanted to convince Logan to stay home, but seeing as none of them are awake I assume they already are." She stated, standing up and yawning.

"Yeah, I'm going to call Gustavo and sort things out. Go back to sleep." She smiled as her daughter trudged back to her room and then dialed Gustavo's number.

"Rocque Records, Kelly Wainwright speaking." Kelly answered.

"Goodmorning, Kelly, this is Mrs. Knight." She greeted, making sure to smile. A long time ago Kendall and Logan had told her to always smile when talking on the phone, because the person on the other line can hear it in your voice.

"Is everything okay? How's Logan doing?" She asked, immediately jumping to conclusions.

"Oh, he's fine, they all are...but they've also all seemed really tired lately, and with Logan's attack yesterday, I think it'd be best for all of them to get a day of rest." Mrs. Knight explained, her maternal side pretty much taking over.

"Well, I guess we could switch their day off next week with today. We were only going to run through a few songs, anyway."

"Okay, thank you so much for understanding."

* * *

Logan woke up and looked at his clock to see it was almost eight. He was about to panic when he realized that Mrs. Knight would've woken them up, so they must have had the day off.

The tightness in his chest had gotten worse and every breath hurt. He tried to sit up, but the discomfort was so unbearable that he couldn't get a breath in, so he gave up and laid back down.

_Isn't this great? _He thought sarcastically. _If I can make it to the bathroom and take my prevention inhaler...who am I kidding? I can't even sit up!_

Mrs. Knight walked in and he closed his eyes, pretending to sleep.

"Kendall?" She whispered, walking to his bed. "Bud, I'm going to the store to pick up some things, and Katie is hanging out at the pool with her friends, okay?"

"Yeah, sure." He mumbled, rolling over.

She kissed his forehead and walked out. Once she was gone Logan decided to take his prevention inhaler-because this was just a symptom-and slowly sat up. He clenched his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut as he struggled to get a breath in. Then he swung his legs over the side of the bed and fast-walked to the bathroom. The whole time he was hardly breathing and when he got there his symptoms were getting worse.

He took the medicine out of the cabinet and puffed it in his mouth. He sat on the counter and leaned against the wall as he waited for the dizzying effects to die down. When he realized his chest didn't feel as tight he got down and made his way back to his room.

"Logie?" Kendall asked as Logan opened the door. He bit his lip when Logan walked in, thinking it was exactly like fifth grade.

Logan, pale and trembling, walked over to Kendall's bed and sat down on the end of it. "It didn't work..." He murmured, looking down.

"I know, Logan, but before you know it you'll be okay again." Kendall assured him.

James and Carlos walked into the room, but stopped dead in their tracks when they saw Logan. His breathing was still uneven and the tightness in his chest was slowly coming back.

"Logan..." James gasped, and Carlos ran wordlessly to the shaking teen. He held his arms out as if to ask 'Is it okay to hug you?' and Logan leaned gratefully into his embrace.

Kendall leaned his head against Logan's back and cringed at how ragged and unhealthy his breathing sounded.

James walked over to the three and put his hand on the shoulder Carlos's head wasn't on. "Logan, should you take your inhaler?" He asked, concern in his eyes.

"Yeah, your breathing doesn't sound good." Kendall echoed.

"I just took my prevention inhaler," he paused to take a breath, "so if it isn't better in an hour, then I will."

"Let's go watch some TV, maybe leaning against the couch will make it easier to breathe or something?" Carlos suggested. Logan nodded and stood, but then he collapsed.

Kendall and James caught him instantly and helped him to the couch. Logan sat in between Kendall and James, and Carlos was sprawled across the other side of the couch.

He was asleep within minutes and Kendall and James shared a look before moving Logan onto Kendall's lap and putting his legs across James' so he'd be more comfortable and hopefully breathe easier. Carlos move to Kendall's side so he could hug the sleeping boy from behind, and then nodded off, too.

Forty-five minutes later Kendall noticed that his breathing hadn't gotten better-in fact, it was worse. So Logan was curled up on James' lap, and Carlos was now sleeping on the floor.

His eyes fluttered open and he sat up coughing. He felt his face flush because of his position and moved off of James, causing himself to cough harder.

Kendall sprinted back as soon as he heard Logan, Carlos had sat up, and James was rubbing Logan's back.

Logan took the inhaler and used it, his face turning a crimson red. He was a sixteen year old boy and he was being babied; he was practically helpless.

Once he had his breath back, and his lungs were finally clear, he said, "I'm sorry."

"Why?" Carlos asked, confusion clear on his face.

"Because my asthma is bad again and it's clearly stressing you guys out. I'm not the only one that should be worried about-what about you guys?" He explained, crossing his arms.

"Logan, when James broke his leg we took care of him, when Carlos had those nightmares and when he had that really bad concussion we took care of him." Kendall stated.

"And when Kendall's parents divorced we took care of him, too." Carlos continued, smiling apologetically at Kendall for bringing it up.

"And now it's time to take care of our Logie." James finished, ruffling his hair.

"Are you sure?" He asked hesitantly.

"Of course we are! We'll take care of you until you're all better, and then you'll look back and smile because we made you less miserable."

* * *

The next day at Rocque Records, the day seemed relatively normal...that is, until they started singing.

Logan couldn't get the tightness in his chest to go away, and even though he could hold a note longer than any of the others, today he couldn't even hold it half as long as he was supposed to.

"Logan, why don't you get a drink of water or something?" Kelly suggested.

"Thanks." He said, leaving the recording studio and walking down the hall.

_Here's your chance, leave, let them keep up the band without you holding them back._

He stopped mid-step as the thought echoed through his mind. Should he...?

He would.

Logan snuck into Gustavo's office and found a pen and a paper.

_Guys,_

_ I'm so sorry for everytime I've held you back, so I've decided to leave so you won't have to worry about that anymore. Don't worry about me, I'm going home with my dad. I'll be fine, and maybe the band will get more fans._

_ -Logan_


	6. Chapter 6

**Nick: Okay, first off I want to say sorry for not uploading sooner, I've just been so busy and I got a lightsaber from for Christmas and IT IS SO FREAKING AMAZING-**

**Jen: Yeah, it took me FOREVER to pry her away from swinging the lightsaber around like an idiot so she would sit down and type this.**

**Nick: I also got an iPod Touch so hopefully I'll be updating more often through that. And you should've said foREVer, because today is the anniversary of Jimmy "The Rev" Sullivan's death.**

**Jen: Who?**

**Nick: The awesome drummer from the awesome band Avenged Sevenfold-**

**Jen: Okay, worry about the awesome band Big Time Rush right now, and stop babbling about A7x and iPods and Christmas, 'kay?**

**Nick: Fine. *crosses arms and glares* I don't own Big Time Rush**

**

* * *

**

"Where _is _he? Do you think he's okay?" James asked, walking into the main room of Rocque Records where the boys hung out.

"We've looked everywhere!" Kendall exclaimed. "It's like he just left or something."

"Um...guys..." Carlos said in a small voice. "I think he did." He showed them the letter Logan left and they shared a look before sprinting out of the building.

Logan zipped up the suitcase and took one last look around the room.

_Goodbye Big Time Rush, goodbye Palmwoods..._

"What do you think you're doing!" Three voices yelled from the doorway.

He had barely turned around before Carlos nearly knocked him down with a hug. "I'm leaving, getting out of your way. I'm holding Big Time Rush back-I'm holding _you _back, I always have and always will if I don't do something about it."

Kendall and James' glares darkened. "You've never held us back-you're supposed to be the smart one! Where were you planning on staying? What, were you just going to buy a plane ticket and ditch us?" Kendall yelled.

Logan shrugged Carlos off and pulled the suitcase off the bed. "No, I was going to...okay yes, but when you put it that way it sounds evil. I'm just-I'm doing what's best for everyone here."

"You're doing what's best for no one, without you...well for starters Carlos is going to end up _dead _within the first week, I'll be in jail and James' head will have gotten so big Gustavo would kick him out of the band. We'd be doomed without you!" Kendall told him.

"What do you mean?" Logan asked, clearly confused.

"I'm always doing stupid stunts, and you're always making them safer."

"And you make sure my plans aren't _too_ illegal."

"And you keep me grounded."

"You see, Logan, we're four pieces of a puzzle. If you take a piece out we fall apart." Kendall stated.

"Yeah," Carlos echoed. "Kendall is the piece that leads us, thinks up the plans and protects us, James is the piece that gives us confidence and makes sure we care about what people think of us, I'm the piece that keeps us entertained and makes everything fun."

"And you're the piece that perfects my plans, keeps me level-headed when I'm mad, keeps James from being too confident or too sensitive, keeps Carlos in one piece, and helps us in emergencies when we have no clue on what to do." Kendall finished.

"I...I never thought of it that way..." Logan let his suitcase drop to the floor before being smothered in a four-way hug. "I'm so sorry guys."

"You should be! You scared us!" James retorted.

"I thought we lost you, Logie..." Kendall murmured.

"Well, you didn't. I promise I won't ever do that again." He said sincerely.

"Wait a minute...how did you get here so fast?" James asked.

"I ran." Logan said simply.

"And your asthma didn't kick in?" Kendall gasped.

Logan did a double-take before a huge smile brightened his expression. "No. No it didn't."

"Maybe things will go back to normal, finally."

"Maybe..."

* * *

**Nick: Sorry this is so short, but it's the second to last chapter and the chapters in my stories-I've written stories other than this one, they just aren't on fanfiction yet-always seem to die down near the end. **

**Jen: It's almost over? Screw you, Nick, you just don't feel like writing more than this.**

**Nick: And you're exactly right. Anywho, to the reviewers, what did you guys get for Christmas? Hannakuh? I can't spell, I'm sorry. Let's just say the holidays in general, so anything cool you got, feel free to share, maybe you guys can give me some ideas for gifts for the guys in my Christmas fic? That'd be awesome, so please review ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Nickle: Last chapter. Aww...I don't like letting go of stories, but this one is just so short. Anywho, I can get onto my next story once I'm done with this. It's called Mistakes. Katie builds a time machine and they go back in time to save Logan's mom but it backfires and Kendall ends up _dead _Carlos a drug addict, James is in LA and Logan is in New York. Kendall and Katie are the only ones that remember anything about Big Time Rush, and moving to LA and all that. Uh oh.**

**Jen: YOU KILLED KENDALL! At least Logie's still alive :D Please get on with the story**

**Nickle: Always pushy. I don't own anything, if I did BTR wouldn't be on Nickelodeon.**

**

* * *

**

"Logan!" Camille shrieked, grabbing his arm. He used one arm to hold her and the other was on the wall to keep himself upright.

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it. And once you do, I'm sure you'll be great." He assured her, guiding her away from the wall and further onto the ice.

"Don't let go-don't let go-don't let go!" She panicked, clinging to him nearly bringing them both down. Logan laughed, thinking that's exactly what he said the first time he skated. "Are you laughing at me?" She pouted.

"No, it's just...I'm having a good time. Are you?" He gave her one of his crooked smiles and she practically melted in his arms.

"As long as I'm with you, I'm happy. Well, with you and not lying on my back on ice." She squealed as she nearly slipped again.

After about an hour they were gliding across the ice, laughing and holding hands.

"Fine, you can say it." She grumbled, slightly glaring.

"I told you so!" He said in a sing-song voice. Logan grabbed her other arm and they spun. When they finally slowed to a stop he stared into her eyes and leaned down to kiss her.

"Wow." She breathed when they pulled away.

"Yeah." He laughed lightly, just as breathless.

"What song is playing?" She asked, glancing towards the speaker.

"It's one of Jo's songs, 'Wonderful Crazy." He told her. "Why?"

"It's the song of the first time you kissed me." She said with a smile.

They spun again, nearly wiping out, and Logan raised his eyebrow. "Camille, we've kissed before."

"No, I've kissed _you _before." She retorted.

He opened his mouth to say something but she cut him off. "Don't deny it, you know it's true."

Logan gave her another crooked smile and kissed her again.

"I guess I'll have to change that."

* * *

**Nickle: Oh my god that was corny. Btw, that was the date Logan asked James about. And oh my god that was corny, Jen. Why did you make me write that? I mean, yeah, they could've kissed and been romantic and stuff, but couldn't they have also fallen and Logan or Camille could've gotten hurt and THEN Logan could kiss her?**

**Jen: Oh my god that was so romantic and sweet! I LOVE LOGAN! And stop torturing the BTR characters, Nikki.**

**Nickle: It's not Nikki. *glares* Anywho, reviews are always good, and please check out some of my other stories. Later :)**


End file.
